If the most important person in your life suddenly went to prison, would you know what to do with yourself?
Every year, thousands of people in Cumbria are suddenly plunged into the world of the criminal justice system after a family member, friend or loved one goes to prison.
It’s a reality most of us think we’ll never face – until it happens – and often, people are left with little to no support and guidance.
But one Cumbrian woman is working to help change that.
Emma Wells, 49, of Millom, is the founder of Unseen Victims, a new community interest company aiming to provide support to the people who become the unseen victims of their loved ones crimes.
After publishing a book exploring her personal experiences when her partner at the time was sent to prison, Emma said she felt there was more she could do to help people in the same position she was.
She added: “My long term ambition for Unseen Victims is for it to be a one-stop online hub for people who are out there supporting prisoners – there’s currently nothing else out there like that.
“These people are very overlooked and I don’t think the general public realise the challenges they face and what they go through – it’s an overall horrible process really.
“The Ministry of Justice places an enormous amount of emphasis on strong family bonds being productive to successful rehabilitation and yet there’s actually very little support out there for these people giving that support.
“It’s alien, I mean who knows how to book a prison visit? How do you tell your children that daddy’s not coming home for seven years? It’s so stressful and some of the people I’ve supported have faced these issues.”
Emma – who lives near Cumbria’s Haverigg prison – said she has personally supported thousands of people across the UK, several of which are from Cumbria or have a loved one in prison here.
The Unseen Victims website currently offers live chat and email support as well as a wealth of information detailing everything from staying well mentally and physically when a loved one is arrested to court etiquette, what to expect from a police investigation and what to do when your loved one comes home.
Emma’s book is also available for purchase on the website and provides guiding information alongside her story and the stories of others.
In the future, she is aiming to launch a telephone service and buy a physical space to create an affordable overnight stay venue where people visiting family and loved ones in Cumbria’s prison will be able to stay cheaply.
She is also aiming to be able to offer crisis money in the form of train tickets or fuel vouchers for families who may be separated.
Emma said: “I live near HMP Haverigg and I know people who travel to see loved ones there from Dorset. The cost is extraordinary.
“Because they’re so dispersed from their family unit, some of these people haven’t seen their partners or family members for over 12 months, which is just awful.
“When someone initially is sent to prison, a households income can also be compromised. Nobody wakes up one morning and things do you know what, I’d like to be supporting someone who is committed the most heinous of crimes.
“Nobody does that and it’s the most difficult process these people go through of deciding to remain in contact with someone who has committed a serious crime.
“But no matter where it is, you will never walk into a prison visiting hall and see it empty – these people have visitors all day every day of the year.”
Emma said she wanted to create a proactive environment that helped to stop reactive, stressful responses that typically come with a loved one becoming incarcerated.
She said: “Families and loved ones of someone in prison are not complicit in any kind of offending, so when someone gets arrested you go into a no mans land of not knowing what is happening.
“I have never spoken to a person in all the years of doing this who hasn’t put the victims of the crime above themselves or their family and what they’re going through but the criminality of another has a great knock on effect on their loved ones.
“It’s guilt by association and that stigma is huge, and I’m trying to do something about it. I think it’s easier to stigmatise than find any empathy to understand the pain of what these people going through.”
Emma also said she felt it was important to share with people supporting an incarcerated loved that positivity can be found in difficult times.
She was inspired at first to write a book on the subject after her partner was sent to prison for a serious crime.
She said: “You wake up and you can’t breathe some mornings. My first visit to prison I went to HMP Forest Bank I had never been to a prison and it was Christmas Eve to make it even worse.
“I had to go through a laborious process of things like having my id taken and I went through the chamber with other people and I ended up having a panic attack.
“I was taken out and an ambulance checked me over, and I was okay and able to go back in and continue my visit. But it ended up being a really positive experience.
“When I came away there was a huge firework display at the back of the prison. Because it was Christmas Eve, a family who were estranged from their child in prison had arranged a firework display just as a touch of intimacy between them, as they were celebrating Christmas.
“I never thought I’d visit a prison and I remember I looked around in the hall and thought ‘Oh my God, I’m not like these people’, but they’re all unlikely angels supporting these people.
“There’s also family days that take place with hot dogs and games and it’s actually a positive part of the prison journey. I’ve seen some beautiful gifts presented to people in prison and I’ve seen dads cradling newborn babies in visitations, and in a place so void and empty to witness something so lovely is important.
“Often all people see is the criminal and it’s difficult to see beyond that to the wider aspects of their lives.
“But just hearing about someone else’s experience and being able to think ‘if that happened to them, then I will be okay, is so important.”
You can find out more information on the Unseen Victim website by clicking here.
