Almost £3,000 has been raised for a South Cumbrian hospice in a unique show trial of accused bosses.
Lock Up Your Boss saw staff accuse their bosses of office crimes – and a show trial was held at Barrow Town Hall to raise cash for St Mary’s Hospice in Ulverston.
Employees nominated their bosses to stand trial, facing cross-examinations led by Napthens solicitors and under the oversight of court clerk and town crier Alan Brown, plus Barrow mayor Judith McEwan.
Staff gathered to witness justice unfold, raising bail donations to see their bosses freed.
The bosses facing justice were:
Bryan Walker
- Business: Westmorland and Furness Council
- Job title: Senior surveyor
- Crimes:
- His team claimed they needed a break from his IT expertise, which left them constantly struggling to keep up.
- He was accused of distracting his team with his quirky habit of wearing flamboyant socks due to his inability to wear shoes for an entire workday.
- For playing classical music on a loop for eight hours straight and occasionally breaking into a singalong, he faced additional charges.
- Raising the office’s average age by a whopping 43.7 years.
- Verdict: Guilty
Katharine Jane
- Business: Westmorland and Furness Council
- Job title: Business resource manager – business resource and centralised support services
- Crime:
- Katharine’s unique “crime” involved her dog, Diego, who, after spending a morning at the pub with her mother, became hooked on the outing. Now, every time he passes the local pub Romney’s in Kendal, he tugs insistently on his lead to go inside, much to Katharine’s embarrassment.
- Verdict: Guilty
Paul Smeaton
- Business: MSH Healthcare
- Job Title: Director
- Crimes:
- Known for his five-minute meetings that never last less than two hours, Paul’s time-management crime is legendary in the office.
- His additional charges included refusing employee requests for a margarita bar to stay hydrated, eating KFC in front of his staff without sharing, rarely providing pizza for lunch, and hoarding his prized hot chocolate machine for personal use.
- His final charge? Weekend work assignments, which his team finds particularly egregious.
- Verdict: Guilty
Lee Stoller
- Business: Stollers
- Job Title: Managing director
- Crimes:
- Asking questions while walking away, leaving his team scrambling to answer questions they couldn’t fully hear.
- Other charges included abusing the ‘find my iPhone’ feature to track down his frequently misplaced iPad on the shop floor multiple times daily, skipping meetings, and having a beard.
- Verdict: Guilty
Paul Curwen
- Business: MKM
- Job Title: Branch director
- Crimes:
- Making staff toast that was closer to warm bread than toast and never making his team a cup of tea.
- Seeking excessive praise for regular tasks, unintentionally creating more work while trying to help, always needing to be right (even when wrong), and planning everything last minute.
- His team noted he gets away with things they’d normally be reprimanded for, especially when he’s in a mood.
- Verdict: Guilty
Helen Carlson
- Business: St Mary’s Hospice
- Job Title: Head of fundraising
- Crime:
- Her perpetually messy desk. Despite her role in raising funds, her cluttered workspace has become a source of good-natured ribbing from her team.
- Verdict: Guilty
The trial concluded with Judith pronouncing the final verdicts.
The boss who raised the highest bail was declared the day’s winner and awarded a voucher for an escape room experience, donated by Cliffhanger Escape Rooms.
The court adjourned to a networking luncheon hosted by Poppies, where participants reflected on the day’s light-hearted proceedings and strengthened business connections.
She said: “The support from the local business community has been incredible, and we couldn’t be more grateful. It’s events like this that help us continue making a real difference for those who need it most.”
Lock Up Your Boss is expected to return next year.
Lisa’s pumpkin patch
Meanwhile, a Halloween fundraiser has raised £2,565 for the hospice.
Lisa’s pumpkin patch in the hospice’s orangery featured handmade pumpkins for people to buy.
It was the idea of Lisa Grieg.
St Mary’s Hospice said: “We extend our deepest gratitude to every single person who visited the orangery, bought a pumpkin, gave up their time to knit and crochet the pumpkins and contributed so generously to this cause. Your support has not only boosted our fundraising total but also demonstrated the power of community in making a meaningful difference.
“Special thanks also go to our incredible volunteers, who dedicated their time, talent, and creativity in making pumpkins for the patch. Each handmade pumpkin was a labour of love, and every sale brought us closer to our goal. Without their dedication and hard work, this achievement would not have been possible.”
Lisa added: “We are absolutely overwhelmed by the generosity and support of our community.
“Every pumpkin purchased and every penny donated means so much, not only to us at St Mary’s Hospice but also to the community we serve. This would not have been possible without the incredible volunteers who poured their hearts into creating pumpkins for us to share. Together, we’ve shown just how powerful a community can be in making a difference. Thank you, from the bottom of our hearts!”
