A former journalist from Cumbria has written a book about discovering, almost aged 60, that she is autistic.
Alex Morgan’s Mothertongue, which was shortlisted in the prestigious Northern Writers’ Awards, has been published by Cockermouth-based authors’ collective Thorn & Haw Publications.
Mothertongue is a memoir of late-diagnosed autism, family history and one woman’s search for the truth.
Growing up above the family’s Edinburgh dress shop in the 60s and 70s, Alex knew she was different from other people; she just didn’t know why.
Convinced by her mother that the world was full of monsters – her father chief among them – and dreadful things could happen at any time, she spent nearly six decades trying to keep safe by blending in, hiding her fear and pretending to understand and be like everyone else.
Then, in 2022, stuck in bed with Covid, the then 58-year-old former national newspaper journalist took an online neurodivergence test and came face-to-face with the real cause of her difference: she was autistic.
Alex said: “I was stunned and yet the test result – which was confirmed a few months later by a formal assessment – made complete sense.
“It left me wondering how I, and everybody around me, had failed to realise. I also wanted to know which of my dysfunctional parents the crucial genes came from, and how this new understanding could enable me to build a better life. What I discovered was complicated and surprising.
“As I read and learned more about the condition, it dawned on me that I was far from alone – and that it is surrounded by myth and misunderstanding. Around a million people in the UK have an autism diagnosis, about 80 per cent of them male.
“However, experts believe there are up to 700,000 girls and women with unrecognised autism, many of them spending decades, if not entire lives, struggling to fit in and with no idea of the true cause of their issues.
“They’ve been missed because the diagnostic system has traditionally been male biased and autistic females tend to present differently.
“I wanted to do something to help, so I created the website theautisticwoman.co.uk, the UK’s only comprehensive online autism resource written by an autistic woman. Writing Mothertongue seemed like the logical next step.”
The book describes how Alex’s early years were blighted by difficulties learning, doing PE and playing games, bullying by classmates, meltdowns, and enforced socialising on seaside holidays.
When left to her own devices, in an attempt to create a world she could control, she spent hours crafting paper, fabric and Plasticine into tiny people and miniature furniture.
Alex also recalls being tranquillised as a teenager after becoming convinced nuclear war was imminent, nervous breakdowns she now recognises as bouts of autistic burnout, and enduring decades of anxiety-induced nightmares.
Along the way, she weaves in details of autism’s history, causes and the diagnostic process.
Thorn & Haw Publications founder Zoe Gilbert said: “Mothertongue is a raw, honest and beautifully written memoir, and Alex’s story is relevant and important. Her experience of receiving a late diagnosis of autism is one that will resonate with so many women.”
Mothertongue is priced £10.99 and is available from bookshops and online at theautisticwoman.co.uk
